Trust

by Kyle Wiseley

I’ve been at this “religious stuff” for a very, very long time. It has been an enduring linchpin in my chain of consciousness from early childhood to the present. Thoughts and actions are continually assessed and evaluated in terms of both what I logically believe and intuitively feel about my moral responsibilities and my relation to the Divine. Over the decades I’ve wandered in and out and through many different expressions of religious practice: in-depth Bible study, meditation, theology, philosophy, and even study of the Urantia Book. (Wikipedia can help define that.) And at this particular point in my journey there are fewer “absolutes” in my belief system than at any time previously. In other words, along the way, I have found few, if any, real answers to life’s conundrums, but the questions keep getting ever more interesting.

About 25 years ago there was great interest in the concept of faith development that swept through the Christian Church. James Fowler, among other theological scholars, did copious research comparing the development of faith within the individual with individual psychological and personality development. I found the field fascinating and study of the findings greatly aided me in understanding why I thought, felt and believed as I had during various stages of my life.

Although I’ve tried to synthesize as much of this input as my poor old brain can handle, I’ve also come to increasingly realize the value of just living in trust in the goodness of the Creator, however I may logically perceive that concept at any given moment. Occasionally turning off the logic, the intellectual criticism and frenetic reasoning with which I find myself so continually obsessed, and simply bathing in the wonder of the Goodness that surrounds us as evidenced by the beauty of nature and the blessedness of human love, refreshes my spirit far more than any study, sermon or lecture can ever do. I have found that solitary, quiet time to just “be” is important to my spirit’s welfare. “Be still, and know that I am God” is a priceless piece of advice from our scripture.

We live in a frenetic world and try as we may (and it is our responsibility to try) we can never solve all the problems of life and in the end we are left with trust; or more poetically stated:

“Can we not find in these tumultuous days,

If not a cure for humankind's depravity

(That task may be too great)

At least the will to be compassionate to those

Who stand next to us,

In some small way to ease their suffering,

And for a little space bring peace into their lives?

For in the wings the Fates breathe their eternal plaint:

"Do you not know that at the last

Each must embrace the void, and trust?"*

*From “Triage at the End of Time” by the author.