Anticipation

by Kyle Wiseley

I suppose in some ways this seems like a strange topic for this time of year, but for me the fall has always initiated a feeling of anticipation. A new school year is under way. The holidays are ahead, promising opportunities to spend time with family and friends who one doesn’t see often. In our church life a new program year is under way. Soon Advent will begin with a new cycle of Sunday lessons and the anticipation of Christmas. As the old year winds down we are offered renewed chances to do better and repair past mistakes and consider new responsibilities.

This year, we Episcopalians have are also anticipating the choice of a new Bishop for our Diocese. To many of us that may not seem very important, yet to some, particularly those in leadership roles and ministries, it will have a significant impact.

At the heart of anticipation is hope. In fact, anticipation without hope is dread. Where does one find hope, especially in a contemporary world where life moves so swiftly and our cultural and political environment can seem overwhelmingly unmanageable? Just as anger is always based in fear, so hope has its foundation in trust. Trust is tricky. It often depends so much on our having had good experiences -- of life turning out the way we wanted. But when things don’t go our way, or more importantly yet, when really painful things happen, our trust in the goodness of life is severely shaken.

It has been my experience that when those dark times appear, I need to go inward and that can be a scary journey. I find that it helps if I have close friends upon whom I can rely to stand by me in those intimate times when I might otherwise isolate in self-pity and despair. The success of my emerging from my problems while maintaining a sense of optimism, depends on who I am at my very core. And if I can find that core and give up myself as I would define myself, there awaits Something that sustains and nurtures me even when all else is sorrow and sadness.

So even in the worst of times I find that I can look forward in anticipation rather than dread, and know that the One who has promised to be with us always will keep his promise and see me through. One of my favorite scripture passages is the final lines of the Psalm 100: “For the Lord is good, his mercy is everlasting, and his faithfulness endures from age to age.” I can think of nothing for which I could be more thankful during this season.