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by Julia Graves

I had an interesting conversation with several close friends this week. The conversation was about saying no.

Have you ever been asked to volunteer to do something and found your hand automatically going up? Why? Would you feel guilt if you didn’t volunteer? Of course if you didn’t volunteer quite possibly no one else would. Then the job would not get done, or maybe not done as well as you could. And surely you could make the time.

I know how it feels when someone says no to me when I want something. I would not want to cause someone else to experience this uncomfortable feeling by me not answering their request. Is this why I feel guilty if I don’t volunteer? Is it to protect other people’s feelings or is it for the gratification I experience from helping out? If it was because of the feeling of gratification, why then don’t more people volunteer so they too can get some gratification too?

I then began to ponder about how many times we pray to God asking for something. Sometimes it appears our prayers go unanswered. But are they really going unanswered or is God saying no to us? Could it possibly be that God is pondering a bit before saying yes? Giving us time to grow, gain more understanding, perhaps becomes wiser. Maybe an answer of no is more like pause, look, listen, explore other options?

So when I say no it could be proving others the opportunity for growth. This allows me the opportunity to give quality time to the projects I truly have time for. In doing so I am healthier both physically and mentally because of this decision.