Value Every Moment

by Julia Graves

Close your eyes. Now think of someone you care about. What were there wearing? Can you remember the sound of their voice or what they smelled like? What did you talk about? Was your interaction pleasant or stressed filled with condescending remarks? Did you hug them when you parted and say “I Love You”? Did you value their existence?

We live our lives as if they will continue forever. We take relationships for granted. It only takes a moment to change our lives forever. In a moment a car accident, stroke, heart attack, or unexpected death can occur changing or taking the life of a loved one.

Our words and actions can cause an emotional death to an individual. We demean and minimize others in person and behind their backs. At times we behave more like people of darkness rather than of the light.

Life is a gift and every moment is precious. In a moment, it can all change… forever.

What do you value?

Disposable

I have found it very difficult to write my contribution to the blog. I am usually a very task oriented person and get commitments completed early. Then I don’t have to think about them any more. This has not been the case with the most current blog. I have found myself avoiding my computer, for if I am there I should sit and write my blog. If I sit and write my blog, then I have to look at the feelings I am experiencing. May of these feelings are rooted in deep anger and hurt. I really would prefer not to look at or feel them. I do not enjoy turmoil or pain. I would rather experience peace, tranquility, and joy.

I know what it is like to struggle emotionally and financially, I know what it is like to feel abandoned. When I see other people experiencing this it makes these memories and feeling come to the surface for me. I hurt and I get angry. I feel empathy for them.

It is upsetting to see adults only thinking about their own wants, usually in the form of self gratification, shunning their responsibilities. They don’t think about the impact of their actions on the people around them, their spouse, children, family, friends, and community. All they think about is their “wants” and not the “needs” of others. Or is it they just don’t care.

Of course people who don’t think about the ramifications of their actions are not truly adults. They are children. Children in a candy store grabbing treats, and toys for self fulfillment. They are thieves who steal the emotional wellbeing and security of everyone around them. They are spoiled children, bullies, and criminals. They do irreparable harm to the innocent.

We live in the disposable generation. If we don’t want it anymore we throw it out. Give it away. Recycle it. Maybe someone else would like it. In our present society families and relationships are disposable also. Throw out the spouse and the kids, they will be fine. Don’t believe it, they will not be fine. They will experience a life time in mistrust, pain, and insecurity. And for what? Someone else’s happiness and gratification. How selfish is that! People are not stuff.

How many times in the Bible is the word touch used? Jesus healed by touching people. Did he hit, emotionally abuse, walk away? He embraced the sick, poor, homeless, widowed, outcast. He healed. We as Christians are supposed emulate Christ.

Jesse Manibusan, a local Christian song writer, says it best:

"Open My Eyes"

Based on Mark 8:22–25

Open my eyes, Lord.
Help me to see your face.
Open my eyes, Lord.
Help me to see.

Open my ears, Lord.
Help me to hear your voice.
Open my ears, Lord.
Help me to hear.

Open my heart, Lord.
Help me to love like you.
Open my heart, Lord.
Help me to love.

Bridge
And the first shall be last,
and our eyes are opened,
and we'll hear like never before.
And we'll speak in new ways,
and we'll see God's face
in places we've never known.

I live within you.
Deep in your heart, O Love.
I live within you.
Rest now in me.

This link shows Jesse performing his song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbihOyKIvi8&feature=related

Let us open our eyes and follow Christ’s teachings.

by Julia Graves

I had an interesting conversation with several close friends this week. The conversation was about saying no.

Have you ever been asked to volunteer to do something and found your hand automatically going up? Why? Would you feel guilt if you didn’t volunteer? Of course if you didn’t volunteer quite possibly no one else would. Then the job would not get done, or maybe not done as well as you could. And surely you could make the time.

I know how it feels when someone says no to me when I want something. I would not want to cause someone else to experience this uncomfortable feeling by me not answering their request. Is this why I feel guilty if I don’t volunteer? Is it to protect other people’s feelings or is it for the gratification I experience from helping out? If it was because of the feeling of gratification, why then don’t more people volunteer so they too can get some gratification too?

I then began to ponder about how many times we pray to God asking for something. Sometimes it appears our prayers go unanswered. But are they really going unanswered or is God saying no to us? Could it possibly be that God is pondering a bit before saying yes? Giving us time to grow, gain more understanding, perhaps becomes wiser. Maybe an answer of no is more like pause, look, listen, explore other options?

So when I say no it could be proving others the opportunity for growth. This allows me the opportunity to give quality time to the projects I truly have time for. In doing so I am healthier both physically and mentally because of this decision.

Celebration of Christmas

by Julia Graves

Here I sit in my favorite chair wrapped in a warm blanket sipping on my soy late. I consider this a small piece of Heaven. I look forward to this daily ritual of luxury. As I sit my mind wonders over yesterdays events.

After Church I went home and readied the holiday meal. A simple meal prepared with love. The desserts that were hand made and loving prepared by the children were set out to thaw; chocolate covered cheese cake, chocolate cookie cream cheese truffles, cheery and apricot breakfast braids.

Next I brought out the everyday dishes chipped and warn from years of daily use. Basic white Corelle, it is amazing how it can bounce off the floor. If dishes could talk these would be filled with many, many exciting stories. This is and will be the only set of dishes I will ever own. They are loved dearly because of all the memories attached to them.

Then I finished off the preparation of the Christmas Stockings. These stockings are filled with an assortment of chocolate kisses, rice paper candy, maple syrup Santa’s, flavored coffee and hot chocolate samples, corn nuts, etc…. food items the children learned to love while growing up. Each brings up a memory of some past wonderful childhood experience. I look forward each year to traveling to different stores to collect these items. They are small, however the memories are rich. When the children dig into the stockings the experiences are discussed with smiles and laughter. These small items are inexpensive, the experience is priceless.

The chairs are placed around the living room, just enough to accommodate the number of guests. The aroma of the holiday meal fills the air. Every thing is ready, my excitement grows. The door bell rings. The guests enter who have traveled from many different locations, the meal is served, and the home fills with laughter and conversation. Empty dishes are gathered and put to soak to be dealt with later. Dishes can wait, moments with family and friends are more important.

Our attention turns to the gifts we have brought to share with one and other. Pickles organically grown and canned, hand print chocolate chip and thumb print cookies (these are gigantic because they are made by adult children’s hands!), and the deserts, truffles, coffee and cheese cake. My mother brought a note book entitled her memories. It is the beginning of her memoir. It shows her humble beginnings in the Deep South. There is a picture of the three room shack she grew up in, the outhouse, and the well where she drew water as a child. Her first set of shoes for school were made out of old truck inner tubes. I read her history and am in awe of how far my mother has come from such humble beginnings.

Desert is served and the conversation changes to our plans for the upcoming week. Leftovers are packaged to be sent home with the children to be enjoyed later. Coats are retrieved, hugs given, goodbyes said. The door is close and the house is once again quiet.

My mind wonders to the Holy Family. I think of the similarities of the Christmas story and my family experience. Mary and Joseph traveled many miles to be counted and taxed; Christ started his life sleeping in a trough designed for feeding livestock. I think of the Epiphany and the Wise Men that came bearing gifts. Gold, a gift fit for a King; Frankincense, some believe carries prayers to heaven; and Myrrh used for treating wounds and also used in the preparation of the dead.

For many churches the Epiphany marks the end of the Christmas celebration and the beginning of Ordinary Time. The colors of celebration, white and gold are packed away and exchanged for green. Similar to what we do with our Christmas decorations. They are put in a box and stuck in the attic or garage for next year. We sit and wait for the change of the seasons to spring and the greening of the landscape. And await celebration of Lent.

Challenge the ordinary and continue the celebration of Christmas. Don’t pack Christ’s humble beginnings into a box. May we continue to celebrate the birth and revealing of our Lord, Jesus Christ, God among us!

Advent

by Julia Graves

In my household a Nativity set remains on display throughout the year. It provides a daily reminder of the Holy family and the humble beginnings of Jesus Christ. It is made out of Olive wood and was imported from Bethlehem. Every time I dust it and oil the fine wood I contemplate on the life journey of Jesus.

We have another Nativity set that is taken out only during the Advent season. It is much larger and each piece is separate. The first Sunday of Advent the Crèche is located in a prominent place in the main living area of the house where everyone can see it. The inside is filled with fresh straw. The only things that reside in this Crèche are the animals who normally reside there. The rest of the Nativity set is separated and located in different rooms of the house. The wise men, Shepherd, Mary and Joseph, each make there separate journey to the Crèche.

This journey takes months to complete. The Crèche has a light that is turned on after the birth of Jesus on Christmas Day. This represents the star the Wise men and the Shepherd followed. The groups are moved to different rooms of the house. This enables each child to have a visit from each group and to assist them on their journey toward the Crèche.

Advent is a time of preparation and anticipation. It is also a time revisit past traditions and create new ones. Enjoy the journey.

Stuff

by Julia Graves

I heard on the news the other day that stores are going to be marketing their Christmas merchandise earlier than usual this year in the hopes of stimulating people to start shopping to improve the economy. I walked into a local big box store and was surrounded by Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas merchandise. I was surrounded by stuff, rows and rows of stuff.

This made me think of how much of this stuff I really needed. It also made me think of what I wanted to spend money on for my family as gifts for the holidays. Did they need a giant stocking or ornament? A musical snow globe that played seasonal music? Another one of those or that? How much of it was just needless stuff?

Then I began to ponder about the financial situation of my family and their ability to buy gifts for other family members. How much guilt were they feeling to produce the perfect gift? I asked myself would all this consumerism make a better holiday season for us or would it put us in a financial strain and cause unnecessary stress? What is the reason for the season?

I decided to call my family and discuss the situation. We decided we would rather exchange handmade baked goods such as cookies and breads. We would also have a potluck meal together. The point was to spend time together as a family enjoying a meal and each other's company. It was not about exchanging store bought gifts. We also discussed contributing to a charity such as a soup kitchen for Thanksgiving and Christmas to help feed people less fortunate than ourselves.

Now as I do my weekly grocery shopping I look at the seasonal stuff of the shelves and smile. I know my family will be exchanging gifts that we made with time and love and given from the heart.

As we begin to prepare for the celebration of the holidays, may we remember it is about gathering together to give thanks. Sometimes less is more.

Got Gifts?

by Julia Graves

Ever sit outside and just listen to the sounds around you? Ever sit outside and just smell the air? Ever sit outside and just feel the breeze? Ever sit outside in the grass under a tree and marvel at nature? Ever sit outside and watch insects crawling on the ground? Ever sit outside and watch birds in flight? Ever stand outside and look up and feel the rain on your face or catch a snow flake on your tongue?

When my life becomes too complicated, I take a “God Break”. I consider it a coffee break for the soul. I go outside and sit quietly and observe my surrounding by listening, smelling, feeling, watching. God has given us a beautiful garden to live in filled with fascinating and intricate gifts to enjoy.

Often we fill our lives so full that we don’t allow time to sit quietly and enjoy these simple pleasures. I find when I allow myself the indulgence of these quite moments, I am able to reflect on the wonderful gifts God has given me: family, friends, strangers, life. It is truly a miraculous place where we live.

Thank you God!

The Supremacy of Love

by Julia Graves

From 1 Corinthians 13:

1 If I speak in the languages of humans and angels but have no love, I have become a reverberating gong or a clashing cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can understand all secrets and every form of knowledge, and if I have absolute faith so as to move mountains but have no love, I am nothing. 3 Even if I give away everything that I have and sacrifice myself,[a] but have no love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is always patient;

love is always kind;

love is never envious

or arrogant with pride.

Nor is she conceited,

5 and she is never rude;

she never thinks just of herself

or ever get annoyed.

She never is resentful;

6is never glad with sin,

but always glad to side with truth,

whene'er the truth should win.

7She bears up under everything,

believes the best in all,

there is no limit to her hope,

and she will never fall.

8 Love never fails. Now if there are prophecies, they will be done away with. If there are languages, they will cease. If there is knowledge, it will be done away with. 9 For what we know is incomplete and what we prophesy is incomplete. 10 But when what is complete comes, then what is incomplete will be done away with.

11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up my childish ways. 12 Now we see only an indistinct image in a mirror, but then we will be face to face. Now what I know is incomplete, but then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.

13 Right now three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love

(I Corinthians 13, International Standard Version)

This blog is dedicated to my beloved Ella who passed away June 18, 2009 at the tender age of 15 years 7 months young. She loved unconditionally and spent her life sharing this love with all she encountered. She will be greatly missed.

Exponentially

by Julia Graves

This morning I spent several hours pulling weeds in the Labyrinth Garden at St. Luke’s. Leather gloves and hoe in hand, ready to enjoy the beautiful day God had provided. In surveying the area I noticed a small clump of forget-me-nots nestled between two shrubs. Some would consider this clump a weed; to me weeds are wildflowers out of place. They travel in on the wind or by animals, settle in, and take root. I think of a child blowing dandelion seeds, “wishes” I called them when I was a child, sending them to travel on the winds. To me this is how God’s love travels. One person’s love and compassion for others causes Gods love to multiply exponentially. John 13:34-35: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

How Much Time?

by Julia Graves

I think of Sunday as the day I refill my coffee pot of life. By the end of the week I am physically, emotionally, and most of all spiritually drained. I am in dire need of a recharge. This is one of the reasons I attend church each week. To give thanks and to get my batteries recharged. Without this renewal I feel lost and without direction.

When I walk through the front doors of the church and into the sanctuary I feel connected once more, connected to something much bigger than myself. I feel the desire to be reverent, quite my heart, give thanks for my many blessings, and to ask for help and guidance.

This past week I found myself pondering a question: How much time to I truly devote to God? For all that God has given me, what do I give in return? An hour a week? How many of us even give that? When we are in church are we focused on God, or on other things? Can we leave the hustle and bustle of life behind for 60 minutes a week? Turn off the cell phone, ignore that text message, and forget about the sports score. Can we slow down and think about nothing but prayer, about God?

This is a poem by Ken Canedo that I think of when my life gets too busy.

Be Still

I searched for God
in my avalanche of
emails and voicemails,
IMs, CDs, TVs and MP3s,
but the Lord was not in the electronics.

I searched for God
in the drone of endless conversations
that permeate the hurried pace of
my daily routine,
but the Lord was not in the clatter.

I could not find the Lord,
though I searched in vain
through all that surrounds me!

And then, I heard a gentle voice.
"Be still."

There, within the silence
of my own inner peace.

I found God.

Degrees of Separation

by Julia Graves

I get forwarded mails from some people. It is not that I don’t enjoy an interesting or funny email from time to time. I have also been known to forward one I find worthy of sharing. I do try to add a short caption to the addressee saying “thought you would enjoy this” or something along that line. So I am saying hello too rather than just adding their name to a list and forwarding. It feels more personal to me.

The thing is, this is only way I hear from these people. They never say hello or ask how I am doing. Just press the forward button after adding my email address to the email. They must need to forward it to ten people or more people to make their quota.

I have started looking at the email addresses of other people on the forwarded email. Many of them I know through groups I have belonged to. Again most of them I no longer hear from since I no longer am involved with that group. It makes me feel good to know they are well enough to be receiving email.

The other day I received an exceptional email. One I felt was worthy of forwarding. I added my “this is really cool, thought you would enjoy it” and sent it to several people I thought would appreciate its message.

The next day I received a forwarded email from my mother. The original email was from my Aunt who lives up on the Sound in Washington State. Apparently, my Mother had forwarded her the email. She had read the addresses from my email and wanted to know how I knew a certain individual. It seams my Aunt and Uncle have know this person and their parents for years.

The person on the email is a couple I met over two years ago here at St Luke’s. I started thinking about degrees of separation. If I know these people, and my Aunt and Uncle know these people, is it one degree of separation?

Then I started thinking of what I think of this couple. They made an impression on my Aunt and Uncle. To me, they are without a doubt the nicest people I have ever met. They live a truly Christian life. Walk the walk, not just talk the talk. In a return email to my Aunt I even said they should be Sainted.

This made me begin to wonder how people perceive me and my actions. Through technology word travels fast. Word of mouth travels fast. What do my actions tell others? Am I spreading the word of Christ through my actions? Or am I just talking and not walking?

It is the season of Lent and a time of reflection. May we use this time of Lent to reflect on our lives, make adjustment, and used this time on earth to emulate God.

The Neighbor and The Renter

by Julia Graves

There was a knock at my front door. I was not expecting anyone, so I was curious as to whom it was. As I opened the door there stood two young women. They appeared familiar but I was not sure from where. They knew me by name. They began to tell me how they had just moved their mother, my neighbor, to their home. The cancer she had been diagnosed with this past May had moved into her lungs. She has become very weak and needs assistance getting back and forth to her daily radiation and chemo appointments.

It was five years ago that I met her. Spring vacation, and a beautiful spring day it was. I had just moved into the neighborhood. “The Renter,” they called me, because I was one of the few in a mainly homeowner-occupied neighborhood. She lived across the street and was always in her yard doing something. Mowing, watering, weeding, and while she was doing these things, she would smile and wave at everyone that passed by. There is a saying in our neighborhood, “if you want to know anything about the neighborhood, just go ask her.” It is not because she is a gossip or a snoop. It is because she is unconditionally friendly, she loves everyone. She greets the stranger who passes her yard with a smile and open arms.

This past Sunday as I knelt praying at St. Luke’s, I looked up at the statue of Jesus. Arms open to the world, ready and willing to receive everyone, just as my neighbor does for everyone who passes her yard. I shared this thought with my friend when I went to visit her after church. We embraced each other while sitting on her daughter's sofa. I shared with her my experience at St. Luke's. “That is how I want to be,” she said. “I love everyone.”

May we all learn be to be so welcoming and to love so unconditionally.